These Jokes are Sure to Raise the Roof!

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best roofing jokes


Why did the exhibitionist want to be a roofer?​

He heard there was a lot of stripping involved.​

How did the roofer get such a positive customer review on his asphalt shingle installation?

He nailed it.

What did the roofer do to offend the homeowner?

Nothing. She just sensed his mind was in the gutter.

What did the dyslexic roofer need to do after he drank too much?

He took two aspirin to relieve his overhang.

Why did Trump grant the ex-con/roofer a full Presidential Pardon?

He thought he deserved a clean slate.

Why did the cool roofer stop hanging out with his friends?

He realized they were SQs.

What do you call a newly divorced roofer?

Shingle and ready to mingle!

Why did the roofer always wear a sleeveless shirt?

He believed in the right to bare arms.

Why was the roofer always worried about paying his mortgage?

He knew his job was up in the air.

How did the lady roofer build her YouTube audience to over a million followers?

Flashing.

Why did the roofer take so long with his shingle install?

He should never have brought a hammer to a nail-gun fight.

Why did the roofing company fire the roofer for taking bathroom breaks?

His waste factor was too high.

Why did the roofer scream at the top of his lungs when he realized he was one part shy of finishing a big roof job?

He just needed to vent.

What did the struggling roofing contractor say after a terrible storm passed through town?

"Hail, Yeah!"

What do roofers and snowboarders have in common?

They can’t get enough of the slopes.

Why do Urologists make good roofers?

They know how to fix your leaks.

What does a female roofer have that a male roofer doesn’t?

Nice hips.

What did the roofer say after having his fifth child?

I should have used a pipe sleeve.

What’s the difference between a roofer with a measuring wheel and a roofer with the iRoofing mobile app?

One is SQ, the other is Hip.

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